For Anna
by outsidersfanlovesdally
Summary: What does Elsa really do when she misses Anna? Reviews are always welcomed! :)
1. Chapter 1

As I sit here in my room, I wonder what you must think of me. I haven't come out of my room in two and half years now. You must think I hate you, or you might have done something wrong. I want to assure you now that it wasn't you at all; something is wrong with me Anna. Momma and Papa don't know what to do except keep me away from you and everyone else for safety. I don't know how to control myself and if I lose control people get hurt.

I hear you outside of my room every single day. I want to build a snowman so bad it hurts, forget the snowman I just want to be around you again! I can't do that Anna, not yet anyway, but I don't want you to stop coming.

I love you so much,

From your sister Elsa

"That is the 27th letter I will never send to her" I spoke softly to myself. Momma said writing letters to Anna would make me feel much better, but it only fills my heart with sorrow. Even if I write letters to her, she will never read them. Yet here I sit at the small writing desk in my room. I am now 12 and a half, and I officially moved into this room when I was ten.

I was ten years old when I hurt Anna. I really didn't mean to but it doesn't matter anyway she still got hurt. That is why I must keep my distance.

Write more tomorrow dear Journal,

Elsa


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Anna,

I haven't been out of my room in years now. I just turned sixteen yesterday. Did you remember my birthday, or were you too young to know? I couldn't have a party, I just sat in my room and stared at the door. How would it feel never to have to be in this room again? How long is going to take for me to learn control? I'm disappointed that it's taken me this long!

My worst fear is that I may never learn how to control the curse. I don't understand how something so beautiful and wild can be so dangerous. Its like trying to pet a tiger. Its beautiful and wonderful but at any moment it could strike. I never know when my powers are going to go haywire, it would be so much easier if they did.

I noticed you don't come by my room much anymore. I pray that you haven't gave up hope; If you give up Anna, I will too. I am not strong enough to do this alone.

In a few weeks Momma and Papa will embark on a journey across the worst sea on our shores and I hope all goes well for them. I must end this letter now because its getting late.

Good night my dear little sister,

Elsa

_I put the letter in a box with the other ones, then I sit on my bed and almost start crying. I want to cry because I don't hear Anna. I want to cry because I think the worst about Momma and Papa's trip. I want to cry because I sat here in this room for six years and still can't control myself. I know I can't cry though because having and showing emotion only makes things worst._

_I whisper to myself the same thing I have for six years "conseil don't feel, conseil don't feel-Don't let it show."_

_This time it doesn't work because where my hands were resting on the bed is now covered in a thin layer of ice as the tears begin to fall._

_ I'm a monster, I think as I cry myself into a deep sleep. _


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Anna,

tomorrow I will meet you for the first time since I lost control. I am worried that something will go wrong, but I am optimistic about the years to come. I hope I will come close to being as good of a ruler as mom and dad were. I pray I will have advisers that know what they are doing because I'm not sure I can do this on my own. Will you help me or will you harbor fear and cruelty toward me?

I hope we will be able to work things out between us- Anna I never wanted to close you out. I only wanted what was best for you and at the time, I wasn't. I caused you pain Anna. I know you can't remember it but I did. Your hair wasn't always streaked white, that was because of me.

I can only ask for forgiveness after all I've done. It has been my deepest regret and I need you to help me lead this nation. I still fear that I can not control my powers and that I could endanger more people. I want you to know I'm not a monster.

I thought I was for along time but I'm really not. I don't go around trying to hurt people and I would never hurt you intentionally . Its getting late now so I must get some rest, wouldn't want dark circles under my eyes at the party.

For the first time in forever I can say I will see you tomorrow dear little sister,

Elsa

**Hey everyone!**

**I'm so sorry for the delay in updating. I was busy with camps and vacation but I'm back now and will update as soon as I can. Reviews are always welcome :) **


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